I listened to this podcast, and it made me angry. I mean, not the podcast itself, but now I’ve been thinking about what they said for over a week and they’re right and it pisses me off.
For non-Scandinavian speakers, it’s about the question most (all?) feminists get at some point – “do you hate men?”. The two women say that yes, they do, and proceed by explaining why. And they’re right. And I’m angry. It comes down how men are taught all their lives that they have the right to be center of attention, to be heard. How women are raised to pay attention and take others into consideration.
First I was all “yeah yeah, I’ve heard it before”. I’ve always thought of it as a more serious problem, like something I didn’t take part in and that people in my surroundings are mostly respectful to me.
But this time it stuck with me. How my male colleagues systematically “don’t hear” (don’t listen) when women are talking. How they don’t remember things we say, but remarkably do remember things other men say. How it annoys me when people are loud or noisy, because “they should think of others!”, while my partner “didn’t even think about it”, because to him it’s natural to take up space and be noisy, no matter who’s around.
I feel stupid that it took me until now to see this as a system. And it makes me think of this song where they sing:
Can’t change the world by hating men
Can’t change the world by blaming men
Are you sure?